I should be at the gym.  I should not be writing blog posts.  But I don’t want to go to the gym.  I don’t want to go so badly that I spent the last thirty minutes cleaning the inside of the washing machine. I was motivated earlier this week.  I have been completing two gym sessions a day. My morning cardio workout and an afternoon stretching and hill walking workout I was given by the physiotherapist. The afternoon workout is tiring but worthwhile considering I have slept for three nights without waking with leg pain.  I’m sure that I will do that again this afternoon, but this is morning and typing is not a good substitute for my cardio workout.

I am aware that my morning workout is beneficial but beneficial is such a dull word.  It doesn’t excite me today to think about the health benefits of exercise.  My fluctuating thyroid hormones mean that I don’t get to see many physical signs that the exercise is making a difference.  There is part of me that knows that it has to be making a difference but it’s not like I can run an experiment with another Karen who doesn’t do exercise and then compare the differences.  I can read about it, be told about it by experts, but awareness is not enough.  As adults we are aware of all sorts of things.  We know we should watch what we eat.  We know that we should do at least 30 minutes of exercise a day.  We know!  If you say to someone who asks about their health, “you should exercise more”, they will probably respond with, “I know!”.  But what is the point of knowing if it doesn’t produce change and it doesn’t motivate us to do anything at all?

I will go to the gym.

 

I have been writing in this blog for 10 years.  I still don’t write as often as I think I should, but I’m glad that I have a record of some of the things I have been doing.  When I first starting writing the blog I wondered who I was writing for, now I see that I write for myself.

After years of problems with my ankle joints and calf muscles I decided it was finally time to go and see a physiotherapist.  I have pain in my muscles every day and it’s getting harder to ignore this at night.  I made a half-hearted attempt to do something about this years ago when I was at university but all I can remember is the horror I felt at the suggestion of corrective surgery and the pain I felt after trying the stretching exercises.

Today I got to feel bliss caused by someone who knows what they are doing massaging my aching muscles.  To have no pain in my calf muscles was such a strange sensation.  I was taught a number of stretching exercises and given a program to follow which was also sent to me in email complete with video instruction.  It turns out I don’t walk correctly when on my toes or my flat feet, but first I need to lengthen my muscles, learn how to stand correctly, and then work on my walking.  This could take a while.

I also managed to squat in the proper form with my feet on the floor, something I thought was impossible.  This was done using a swiss ball and was a great way to show me that the problem is not in my knees.  It was a very good use of an hour and something I should have done a long time ago.