But eventually I came to accept the truth: I am overweight. This is not my fault. My body, without consulting me, has been converting the food I eat into fat, as opposed to something I can actually use, such as toothpaste.

The problem with human bodies is that they’re based on a design that is eons old. Our bodies believe that any day now, we’ll have another Ice Age, and there won’t be any more food, so they need to store up lots of fat. So while our brains are in the 21st century, wanting desperately to lose weight, forcing us to eat salads and engage in bizarre cult activities such as ”Pilates,” our bodies are back in 12,000 B.C., thinking: “I made six more ounces of fat today! Bring on the glaciers!”

– Dave Barry, He ain’t heavy — he’s fat