Google said: “You are our base, all you CATS”. I contributed a better translation.

I thought the original phrase would be entertaining because it contains a Japanese verb that Google mistranslates brilliantly: いただく。

「いただく」 means “receive” or “accept”. But it’s a humble verb, so the receiver has a lower status than the giver and so receives with gratitude. I suspect that Oliver Twist would use a form of this verb when asking for more gruel.

If you were the receiver and used this verb you would most likely use it in the form of 「いただきます」(the same verb with the normal polite ending). And this is where Google translate gets really confused. Because, unless you frequently get gifts from important people or work in a shop, the most common situation where you would use this word is at the start of a meal: you’ve just been given some food, and you’re thankful, so you say “I (gratefully) accept (this food)”. It’s slightly idiomatic, although the meaning is clear. It’s a bit like “saying grace”. But a popular idiomatic expression used in that situation by many English speakers is (the French phrase) “Bon appétit”. Therefore Google always (as far as I can tell) translates 「いただきます」 as “Bon appétit”.

That really doesn’t work well if the main verb in your sentence is “receive”. One example, appropriate at this time of day, would be 「お休みをいただきます」, for which I would say “thankfully I’ll get some rest”. Google says “Rest for a bon appétit”.

The textbook then described how the meanings would change in the present imperfect tense (the book didn’t call it that; it just called it the 「＋ている」 form). Transitive verbs describe an action, so the present imperfect tense of a transitive verb describes an action in progress; this is a normal use in English. But intransitive verbs describe a change, so the present imperfect tense of a intransitive verb describes a state that is the result of the change. That made sense, and I hope it still does.

But then came the example sentences. They are usually good examples that can be used in normal conversations, so I wasn’t surprised by the intransitive imperfect for “break”: 「このコンピューターは壊れています。」, meaning “this computer is broken”, is a useful phrase. But the corresponding transitive example was 「ゴジラが町を壊しています。」 translated as “There goes Godzilla, destroying the city.”

Well, Karen wouldn’t have thought about the kanji characters, but she knew that “hashi” (箸) meant “chopsticks”, so she thought a “spork and chopsticks” name was a smart idea from Ingy.

I don’t think anyone else spotted that.  The “hashi” (橋) in Takahashi (高橋) means “bridge”; 高橋 is a surname that means ”high bridge”.